Sapa... Maybe...

Part two

I was awoken when the driver came to the back of the (I’m generously calling this a bus) and slapped my ass. Now I’m no expert but I’m sure there are less invasive ways to wake someone up. Regardless, I roll over from my drug induced slumber and shoot him the most puzzled look.

“go” he managed to say and pointed at the door. I checked my phone and only 15 minutes had passed. I am also very confused at this point. In saying that I’m a bit too delirious to question him so I peal myself off the pleather seat and drag myself out the door. Thankfully when I manage to get myself out of this van there is the big sleeper bus there. Finally, something is going right. 

I enter the bus, take my shoes off and find my seat. Now living in Asia, I am no stranger to a sleeper bus. I settle back in and manage to get a little more sleep. When I finally do reopen my eyes, my google maps informs me I’m around two hours outside of Lao Cai. Not bad.

I pass the time by watching some Netflix. As the journey continues the bus slows, but doesn’t make a full stop- remember this, cause its important. As the bus is still rolling, I’m staying put in my seat, as why would I get up???. The new driver starts yelling at me.

“You , off, now”

What the actual? Why? Once again, the confusion sets in. The bus is moving, we are not in Lao Cai, why is he yelling. But his yelling continues so at this point I’m going with it. 

Im standing at the door, trying to put my shoes back on while the driver is still yelling. 

“You, now, off, hurry”

Yeah righto homie, I’m going as fast as I can. 

I stumble off that bus and surprise surprise yet another bus. Lets just remember by this time it is 9.30am in the morning, I’ve been awake since 6.00am (the day before) and am currently running on fumes. I’m just going to go anywhere anyone tells me. 

The new driver (number 3 for those if you keeping count at home) keeps shouting at me, "Where you go, where you go?"

And at this stage I had had enough and I was like

"Homie I don't know! I'm meant to be going to Sapa and I know you ain't taking me there, so just drop me wherever and I'll figure it out" - he understood about 0.5% of what I said.

I just looked at him and said the bus station. I felt like that made the most sense. He nodded in agreement and continued driving.

About 15 minutes later he stops the van and I know it's time to get it together. Clambering out of the van I take a look at my surroundings.

When I catch a glimpse of something that could possibly be the first win I've gotten in the last 24 hours.

Apparently I'm right next to the bus stop that runs a bus to Sapa and back every fifteen minutes. Hallelujah.

I make my way over when a man nods my way, stamps out his cigarette and tells me we are ready to go. After using this bus route to make basic deliveries for an hour, we are finally on the way to Sapa!

We arrive in the small mountain town just after 12pm. Bearing in mind I thought I was arriving at 9.30am, now I have to leave by 3.30pm in order to make the hour long bus back to Lao Cai, so I can then get my 5 1/2 hour bus back to Hanoi. So I've travelled nearly 7 hours, to spend 3 hours in this place just to travel another 7 hours back.

Super.

I am absolutely starving. My last meal was at 12pm the previous day and I need to eat. As Sapa was so freaking cold, I was in desperate need of a hot coffee and some hot food.

The Sapa cold hits differently. Living in HCMC the coldest I have been in the last 18 months was when it was a cool 21 degrees and to be fair thats a joke. Its honestly spoilt me and I'm very scared to come home. Ya girl is going to be hella cold.

Anyway back to Sapa, it's around 13 degrees and not a degree more. I can feel it in my bones. My toes are cold, my nose is cold and I can see my breath.

Life is good.

I park up at a small but cute cafe and enjoy my latte while taking in the beautiful scenery. As I was 3 hours late arriving and only had 3 hours to explore there were no tours I could take. Most of them were 5 hours long and no company was willing to take me in such a short timeframe. I absolutely inhale my food and then take off on foot to explore the township.

Now a key highlight you need to keep in mind for this whole mini-series is that the borders of Vietnam have been closed since March, which means the tourism industry is dead. All tourists are local, which means I stick out insanely.

As I'm wondering around a rather old man pulls up beside me on his bike and asks me if I want to go see the waterfall.

I'm interested- I tell him I need to be back by 3 and he claims that it's no problem.

Next we had to talk about the price. He shrugs and says $10. Hes obviously speaking in USD and I dont know the conversion off my head, so I ask for it in VND and he says 200k. It's honestly not a bad deal. So I jump on the back of his bike and we are off.

As we start the journey up the mountain the fog gets thicker and it drops another two degrees at least. The road up the mountain is rather windy and you cannot see your hand in front of your face. The higher up the mountain the further we get away from literally everyone else. Thats when something goes off in my head. Damn I would be easy to kidnap. This man saw me alone, asked if I wanted to go somewhere and I was on the back of his bike with no questions asked. Sorry Mum and Dad.

In all honesty I was too tired to care, at least being organ harvested I would get a decent sleep. My driver delivered his promise (and me) to the waterfall. He told me he would wait at the bottom and give me 30 minutes.

If my driver didn’t kill me, the stairs up to this waterfall definitely would. 

The walk was worth it though, the view is stunning and I do love a waterfall. I was puffing away as one would, but surprisingly I’m not sweating! Which doesn’t sound like something to celebrate but in Saigon you get sweaty standing up to go to the bathroom. So this was a welcome time for me.

After taking a few pictures I venture down the other side and to my surprise, the man is still waiting. I jump back on his bike and we start back down the mountain. 5 minutes into the drive we get to a fork in the road. He says he can take me straight back to Sapa or we can drive through a small local village. I remind him that I need to be back by 3 which he says no problem to. As we have the time I thought why not, he says that it will cost a little bit extra but at this point I didn’t care. 

As we are driving through we see heaps of local villagers who are all very friendly. he stops at the best photo locations and tells me to snap a picture, he also even takes some for me which comes in very handy. The village is beautiful and so peaceful. 

He drops me back in to the township at 3 O’clock on the dot. I pay him his money (and a bit extra for not killing me) and he is off on his way. I have time for one more quick coffee before the bus comes.

As I do so one of the black Hmong women (the local ethnic minority) comes up to me and starts chatting. They sell beautiful hand woven scarfs and bags as well as handmade jewellery (using old Australian coins if you would believe). Her english is incredible so of course I buy some things off her.

Then she asks me the classic question “ Do you have a boyfriend?”.

Since I’ve been here long enough, I know the correct answer is “yes,many”. So thats exactly what I said. She howled with laughter.

“But many boyfriends, many problems” she replied back to me.

“No, many boyfriends, many moneys” I shoot back

she sighs.

“No boyfriends say money after sleep, then sleep then no money in the morning.”

Damn- hun here is really going through it.

“No, no, no. Always ask for the money first” - I say

her eyes get wide, she acts as if I have just given her the meaning of life. She calls over her friends and tells them everything I have just said. They LOVE IT. They ask me for advice like I am some all powerful relationship God (Little do they know I just have men yell at me in the streets, tell me they love me and go on tinder right in front of me, I know zilch).

I tell them its time for me to go and they all walk me to the bus, give me a hug and then they are on their way too.

Thankfully the bus home is a rather uneventful one. And I do actually mean one! I finally arrive back in Hanoi a little after 11.30 PM. I get the 20 minute grab to my hostel where I just want to shower and sleep as I have to be up by 7.30AM to get the bus Halong Bay.

As I get off my grab bike and look at my hostel it looks pretty damn closed. But things in Hanoi do close, usually you ring the after hours number and someone lets you in.

I ring the number provided to me when I booked. Disconnected

I ring the number on the sign. Disconnected.

I google the place and ring that number. Disconnected.

There is a sign in Vietnamese with a number there so I ring that one. Finally someone answers. 

“Hello I have a booking please, can someone let me in?”

“Hello” replies the woman “Hostel closed forever”: she says then hangs up.

Honestly. This is crazy. Thankfully I know Mollie is near by and as we are going on the cruise together. I call her up and she says its fine for me to come stay. Finally I have somewhere to get some shut eye. 

at least the Halong Bay cruise will be chill and relaxing, right?

Right???