Kids say the Darnest things.. Part 2

Well thankfully today is my release date! Officially out of self-quarantine today as my two weeks is up, but as there is nowhere to go and I'm not an inconsiderate imbicile I will still be staying at home, doing my part to help the world.. it's not hard guys. The last couple of weeks have been interesting. I got to spend my 25th in isolation. Not in the slightest what I had planned, but I had to suck it up. Luckily I had my friends that were also self-isolating with us so we had a few drinks, played a few games and did our best to have a "normal" celebration. Last night a bus parked outside our apartment building to round up a few suspected cases from the building next door. Police escort and all. While normally I would be the first to sign up for a party bus, this was one I was happy to miss. Apart from that Teaching online has kept what little sanity I have left and the children never to fail to keep me entertained. Since we are all in this together, here we go. The first few are from when we were in class, face to face teaching, and the rest are from online classes: 1. As I've been here nearly a year, I've had the same kids for a long time. When this happens you know their quirks and you have your own little inside jokes. However when you first get a class you cant be sure what they have picked up from their old teacher. One of the very first classes of my own were my K9s (5 year olds). We were colouring away in the second half and usually during this time we play some music, the ones that finish early play some extra games, we have fun basically. So we are colouring away and Leo comes up to me and asks to go to the bathroom. "Sure Leo" I reply "Thank you Teacher Baby" This shocks me. What has he just said?? When he comes back I ask him if he knows my name, he tells me my name. So I then ask him why baby? He looks at me just as shocked and then goes back to colouring. I rack it up as a mistake and that's that.

The next week, same thing happens but more kids are doing it, and then next week it's the whole class. I'm baffled. I asked my TA If this is a joke or if they understand what they are saying and shes just as confused as I am. Why are they calling me Teacher baby???? The next week we are doing our production activities again, listening to music when I look at them all singing (which is super adorable by the way because they dont really know the words). We are listening to Ed Sheeran and they are tripping over the words until it gets to the line.. "Baby,Come on, come on baby" which they all know PERFECTLY. Thank you in vietnamese sounds a little like come on.. mystery solved. (Still a stretch, I know) I have told them they cant really call me that, it isnt really appropriate, especially when new TAs or the kids parents come to pick them up and the kids are saying goodbye teacher baby, it tends to turn heads. However everytime they say it I can help but chuckle, which in turn only encourages them more. The main offender is Leo, he always wants to play games and watch YouTube, when I tell him no he looks up at me with his big brown eyes and says "Come on teacher baby, YouTube??"- we watch a lot of YouTube.

2. Since we are already talking about Leo, on Halloween, he dressed as a vampire. The cutest vampire I have ever seen. When I couldn't control my excitement upon seeing him, I had to tell him "Aww Leo, you are my favourite!" He looks at me confused.. "Teacher, I know". Kid knows whatsup.

3. A really common question here is to do with marriage. Everyone and anyone will ask you, including your kids. In a cover class I had one little girl come up to me with eyes wide "Teacher, husband?" "No hun" I replied "Teacher, boyfriend?" "No hun" I repeated She couldnt stop herself "Hahahahaha teacher, no love for you" Then she turned and returned to seat. Way to rub it in mate.

4. The other common question you get alot here is to do with your age. So the kids will always ask, or just assume you are way older than you are. One of my girls came up to me and asked "Teacher, mum?" I was confused by this, I asked her if she was asking if I WAS a mum. She said "no, teacher mum" I asked her if she was asking if I HAD a mum. "Of course I have a mum" I told her, still confused by this line of questioning. "Haha but teacher, so old" She thought I was so old there was not possible way I had a mum. Sorry Sue, it's not looking good for you, if my students think I'm old, you should be dust!

5. The last wee gem comes from one of my online classes. At the moment we have two different classes merged, with some kids coming from other centres. So some of these kids have never met each other. We have a chat function and before classes the kids exchange a little cross banter

Peter: "Hey Tom, I have a question for you" Tom: "Yeah Peter?"

Peter: "Are you a fat kid Tom?"

Tom: "Yeah I am"

Peter: "Thought so"

And then nothing more was said, charming. Well folks, that's it from me for this week. Who knows what the third week of quarantine will bring me, maybe another mental breakdown, maybe I'll make a self portrait out of dust, but one thing for sure, I wont be going out willy nilly and I wont be hoarding all the toilet paper.

So stay safe, wash your hands and stay the heck inside!