An open letter to Vietnam

Well, now that i’ve made it through isolation I thought why not torture myself some more by writing this. Like always, the best place to start is at the beginning, but unlike netflix, you can’t skip this intro.

So let’s get cracking. When I first signed up to go to Vietnam I was bluffing, alot. I said I wanted to teach, or experience a different culture, I wanted to travel… Blah Blah Blah, these things were all true but they were not the reason for leaving. I just need to get out of New Zealand truthfully.

I am such a proud Kiwi, and I love our country, I know how blessed I am to be born in a first-world country. This has become more apparent during Covid times. I'm beyond grateful that I have been able to get home, to a country that isn't in lockdown, that has handled this pandemic beautifully and more importantly coming home to a family and a community that has loved and supported me this entire time. Being raised in New Zealand has given me the freedom and support to be able to get out and see the world, but the heart to always come home. Yet the state of mind I was in two years ago, I couldn't stay, nowhere was big enough for me and I just needed a fresh start. Vietnam was that, it was far enough away, I didn't know anyone, I could be whoever I wanted to be.

When I left, I did a heap of research, all based around living overseas solo. I knew I would meet people and make friends but in saying that, I honestly didn't think I would make deep connections. My circle of friends now are the same pals that I've had for at least for five years, there are a few exceptions but they are special cases. Since I was only planning on staying a year I knew it would be hard to make deep connections as I find it hard to open up to people, and if I was only here a year, what would be the point? Even writing this now is so damn hard, trying to express how I used to feel eighteen months ago, as so much has changed!

Arriving in Vietnam, I knew I couldn't keep that mindset up. It takes a certain type of person to move to a country, by yourself, not knowing the language and try have a life. Which is why the connections I made in Vietnam happened so quickly and how they were felt so deeply.

Vietnam wasn't always easy and it was far from perfect. There were still all the worries that you could experience at home. My problems didn't magically get better when I landed either, I still had a lot to work through but the distance helped so much by providing me the space and time to work through it all in a completely neutral situation.

However there were times when I wanted to pack it all in and come home. There was one time in September 2019, five months after I had arrived, where I had just had enough. I was looking at flights and I just wanted to be back to what I knew. Yet I knew it wasn't time. I went through the motions and obviously with the support of my friends I stuck it out for another thirteen months!

RIght now that we’ve had a wee recap lets get onto the main reason for this post, the thank you’s.

First of Vietnam and its People:

I know this sounds ridiculous to thank a whole country but it honestly deserves one.

Vietnam is such an incredibly welcoming country. It honestly does its best to make travelers and expats feel welcomed and its people will always go above and beyond for anyone. Vietnam is a radically underdeveloped country however you wouldn't really know it, of course when you look at things like the electrical wires its obvious, but after awhile it all starts to feel normal.

Next are the people, as a whole, they would 100% give kiwis a run for their money when it comes to friendliness and hospitality. I cannot stress how many times a Vietnamese person has gone above and beyond for me, especially when I didn't deserve it. I have a million examples of old Vietnamese men helping me push my bike after I’ve broken down (or crashed) or pushing other customers off chairs so I would have a place to sit, complete strangers coming to my aid when I was yelled at by another crazy ex in the streets of Bui Vien, or my 185 family who would take care of me when I’ve been in some very questionable states.

Even the smallest interactions meant the most, there was one woman I would always buy orange juice off along the canal. She didn't speak any english at all, but that was fine as I knew enough to butcher my way through a basic order of a Large orange juice with no sugar. All I had to do was order once and then every time after that she remembered me. She would hear my bike coming and start squeezing. One day she surprised me by saying “orange” instead of the Vietnamese Cam. Everytime after that she surprised me with one new English word and in turn taught me how to correctly say the words I thought I was saying. By the end I was ordering perfectly in Vietnamese and she could repeat to me in English. She probably hasnt thought of me since, yet that is one thing (of many) that will stick with me forever.

Of course there are bad sides and there are bad people everywhere, but it’s all the little people who make it all worth it and all the Vietnamese people that I personally know more than make up for any bad person I may have encountered.

Working closely with my teaching assistants and being able to connect with them also made the job that much better. I was lucky enough to have incredible colleagues that went overboard when it came to helping me in the classroom. There were times I was completely out of my depth, had no idea what I was teaching and my TA’s jumped in, without missing a beat, and more importantly, not letting the students know that I had no idea what I was saying. There were times where my teaching ability was severely affected and they wasted no time taking charge and getting me in the back of the class where I could sleep off my illness. Throughout my time teaching and my time in Vietnam in general, I’ve encountered so many people that have all contributed to my overall experience whether they knew it or not.

This brings me to my kids.

Now if you have stayed with me this long you’ve read about my kids before, the ones that are great, the ones that arent and a little bit in between. Anyone that has ever been around kids will tell you some are better than others, regardless if its a stage or something else is happening behind the scenes, I only got to see the little mushrooms for four hours a week. Some children you click with immediately and some take longer, some children you never really connect with. In all honesty there were some children that I really disliked teaching But at the end of the day as much as they challenge you, you just push through. My patience has increased ten-fold and surprisingly my anger management has also gotten a lot better! Overall though my kids were amazing and i’ll always remember their determination and work ethic. Kids as young as seven would start their Saturday and Sunday with more school, then sports practise followed by music and then to top it all off more school.

And last, but certainly not least: My Pals

Now if you chuck a group of 20-30 year olds in a foregin country, with no other family or support, you gravitate to each other. Obviously we all had loved ones at home, but that couldn't always help. When things were going wrong and you wanted a Mum hug, or a Dad joke or a best friend chat, it wasn't always possible. Time differences and different schedules meant that the people who you didn't know existed two months ago were all of that. They were Mums, Dads, brothers, Sisters and childhood friends.

I’m sure everyone thinks they have mates or they have good friends but when I say I have THE GREATEST friends, I honestly mean it.

From Day one, my friends from Home supported me. Keeping in contact, encouraging me, listening to intoxicated voice memos at 3pm and just keeping me focused. However, due to the distance there were things they couldn't do. Enter the BC (if you know you know).

My Vietnam friends are next level. We would always get into shenanigans, drunk tattooing each other, having far too many shots, going on road trips, finding cute cafes and overseas adventures. There have been countless countless nights that turned into days that turned into nights again.

There was never any doubt that my friends were incredible but during my last week this was highlighted immensely. So many people went above and beyond to make sure that I had the best send off possible. Organising surprises, taking time off work and showing up to ensure that I felt the love. I love my friends more than most things, and I knew they liked me, but you never really know how much until times like this. To this day I still can't thank everyone enough for everything they did. I was absolutely blown away by the amount of people that were involved in making sure that leaving Vietnam was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

The thing I’ve learnt is you can't decide what you are to someone and knowing that I meant that much to so many people is honestly heartbreaking.

Two years ago when I left for Vietnam people said that it was a huge step or that it was brave, but honestly it really wasn't. Brave was leaving some of the best people I have ever known half a world away, I had a very easy life in Vietnam. Twenty hour work weeks, three days off. Great pay, great social life, everything was easy.

The only bright side is pushing aside all cliches, my goodbyes weren't really goodbyes. There is no way that i'm not going to see these people again and now I can honestly say that I have friends all over the world, which is going to come in Super handy if we are ever allowed to travel again! Yet an absolute drain on the bank account, however its more than worth it. And its not easy being time zones and miles away from the ones that you love but I promise they havent seen the last of me.

Honestly guys, you have all done far more for me than you will ever be able to comprehend- I love you so much.

And there we have it. When I first started this, I didnt know what it was going to turn into. It started off as a way for me to keep family updated and would serve as a record for me to look back on, to remember my adventures and just as a wee keepsake. It turned into something completely else. It grew alot bigger than I thought it would. It was published in my hometown (for awhile anyway 😏 ) It made it to five continents, over twelve different countries, all across America, throughout Australia and New Zealand and even the Nordic countries where I didnt think I had many connections.

Its been an incredible experience writing all these stories and in a way its kept me accountable. So If you’ve stuck with me this long a huge thank you to you as well, wether it was out of genuine interest, nosiness ( I got notifications of where you were reading from 😏) or just sheer wonder that I survived this long

ehara koe i a ia

Xin cảm ơn bạn rất nhi

Thank you all so much

For the last time, make good choices!