Kids say the darnest things!

Well well well, pretty sure we can all agree, let's just start 2020 over yeah? It's a crazy, stressful time for a lot of people. As for me, I am currently in self-isolation due to second hand contact with an effected area, I'm nine days down with five to go and no one in my house is showing any symptoms. In saying that I am now effectively stuck here for who knows how long. But we are safe, I have amazing support in both countries and we all just have to ride this out together.. But in saying that everyone is a bit down in the dumps at the moment and I'm honestly missing all my lil nuggets so much I thought I would give ya a quick entry of some of the things my kids have said to me to cheer everyone up! So here goes;

1. I have one little bubba, Louis. Hes such a cutie and really smart for his age/class, he is one of my K8's (he's four years old). The second half of K lessons are always productive, working on motor skills and such (a fancy way for saying colouring). The kids always fight for your attention, saying "look at me" or just a simple "teacher, teacher" but not Louis, no,no. Above everyone else you just hear Louis yell "TEACHER ... SEE MEEE!!" it cracks me up everytime, cause all I want in life is to be seen too lil buddy.

2. A game I like to play with my older kids when we start a new course is two truths and a lie. It's a simple game to get to know each other a little better and they absolutely froth it to be honest. Anyway one day we are playing, it's a new class and my three things are:

•I'm from New Zealand

•I drive a motorbike

•I've lived here three years (this one obviously being the lie)

When it comes to guessing they are all undecided between the last two, except one kid, Ben. Ben is absolutely convinced there is no possible way I could be from New Zealand and boy is he making a scene about it. When it comes to the big reveal its and understatement to say he is shocked. He looks me dead in the eyes and says "Teacher, how can you be from New Zealand if you are white??". He stumped me. I didn't have an answer. Well except for colonialism which I didnt want to get into with him!

3. No context for this, one of my kids just came up to me, tapped me on the leg and said, "Teacher, you are a potato". Yup, you nailed it, now be quiet and finish your word search.

4. When you have classes for awhile you really know what games get the kids excited. It works out good for everyone cause they know the rules, they know what is expected of them and you know that they like it so they will participate. During a routine game of slide the board, one kid decided to disregard absolutely everything and just hucked his board like no tomorrow. Instantly I reprimand him. "Oggy, it's called SLIDE the board, not BIFF the board! Goodbye all your points!" He calmly looked at me, and started to walk to collect his board from beside my feet. As he stands up he looks me dead iin the eyes and said "Teacher.. you remember my face". Best believe that hasn't been the only time I've been threatened in class!

5. Telling an older student to put away her phone, but obviously she wasnt listening. I did the classic "If you dont put it away it will go on my desk" (side note I have become every teacher I have ever had). The student sitting next to her,looks up at me and laughs and says "Teacher, noooo. She family, Mafia." I am the teacher, I rule with an iron fist, what I say goes... but i dont mess with the Mafia, so Kitty can now text in class..

6. One day in class I'm having students answer some questions. Mike answers one question but unfortunately it is not correct. I politely tell him that he is close (even though hes bloody not) and to try again. He looks at me and says the incorrect answer again. Once again I tell him politely that he is not correct. He doesnt break eye contact, he looks me dead in the eyes and says his wrong answer for the third time. I have had enough. "Mike, mate, you are wrong." Without missing a beat he replies "Teacher, you are inside out". To this day I dont know what that insult means as I did dress myself properly, but he was proud of himself nevertheless.. As i started writing this I released there were a lot more.. so part two coming soon!

Stay safe, wash your hands and check on your mates!