I CAN drive....

Just a wee update on the license front.

After waiting the allocated thirteen days, we headed back to the shambles that fronted as the Vietnamese DMV.

This time however we were prepared. We walked with a purpose straight up to the lady that perched behind her plastic plexiglass and slid our forms right under her nose. She swivels a swift semi-circle and reaches for our newly printed licences and hands them over.

Success.

My eyes immediately dart to the picture. I look like I'm mid sneeze, you know the images they use to highlight the inconveniences of LBL? Yeah that's me now. Super.

Well apart from that, this is the most official looking Vietnamese document I have seen. Its laminated, it's got a holographic lotus. It's really well done! I mean if you compare it to my TRC (temporary residences card) this is a huge upgrade! Seeing such a Western name nestled amongst so much Vietnamese is rather entertaining also!

As we are scanning over our newly obtained freedom pass we look down to the bottom left corner where the licence class is displayed. Class B1. Brilliant, now when the boys in beige (the police officers) pull me over I can whip out my licence and skirt skirt out of danger with no consequences. How ideal.

We turn our licences over to look at the details on the back.. blah blah blah..classification of motor vehicles.. blah blah.. motor vehicles not exceeding 9 seats...truck... tractor.. blah..blah..trailer... and that's it. All this damn effort and we still cant legally drive a motorbike?!?!?

I can drive a tractor, a damn tractor in Vietnam WITH A TRAILER but not a bike?? For gods sake man! After three weeks I get nadda.

Honestly, why me???

Welp at the end of the day I'm still going to zoom round on the dodgy-est bike in Saigon without a care in the world. I tried guys I really did.

The other night I was driving home from work when I left the roundabout, 100M from my home, it was a straight shot from here. I could see the huge neon sign that let me know I was home. When one of the beige boys stepped right out in front of me. I couldn't avoid him he had his baton ready to boop me on the head if I even attempted to swerve past him.

As I slowed my heart started pounding. A friend had just paid me the money they owed meaning I had 1.5 million sitting in my wallet.

Rookie mistake.

I never ever keep more than 200k in the main part of my wallet, purely because of the beige boys. You get pulled over, you show them your wallet, showing that you only have 200k. They usually take it and send you on your way. If you have more they take more. It's simple economics really.

I bring my bike to a stop and prepare to be absolutely fleeced.

He taps my headlight as he stumbles over the english words that are trying come out of his mouth.

Its hard to come up with a reason to absolutely extort someone.. it's alright, take your time buddy.

"Ahhh lights... lights too big" - He finally spits out.

Yup, alright homie I dont know what I'm meant to do about that, I thought, as I prepared to be grudgingly unzip my wallet.

He pointed his baton and said "go".

I couldnt believe it, I just got rolled by the nicest guy in Saigon. I quickly started the engine and sped off before he changed his mind. Pulling into the underground carpark of my building I had a grin wider than the grand canyon.

That 1.5 was written off in my mind so the only thing to do was head out and celebrate the fact that I had been "gifted" this money by spending it all on drinks of course! (Very unstable logic, I'm aware).

The fact that I've only been pulled over twice in the 12+ months I've been here means I'm not too worried about my fraudulent drivers license, it's a story and a good keep sake. Plus might be a but of a laugh to see if they accept it down at the local upon my return huh?

While we are all here and I have your attention... anyone in Ho Chi Minh City got a tractor they are willing to let me take out for a spin?