Hangover Part 2...

Looking around I do another quick head count, 1, 2, 3, and 4. Damn. All the free drinks leave my body and I’m sober as a judge. Instant panic mode. We are half way between the place we just left from ad the place we were going to. The grab was booked on my phone so I can’t book another one until this ride is over. Full on spicy armpits and everything, I try calling texting and face timing her, in my desperation I even draft an email before I realise it’s pointless, she has no data. An intoxicated single girl, alone in Vietnam with no means of contact. I’ll accept m friend of the year award at a later date. As soon as we pull up at 185 happy life I pass India off onto the girls (at least I can keep a track off one mate!) and order a bike to take me back to Lush. Like something out of a James Bond movie, the bike pulls up and it rut my whole self up on the back, fasten my helmet, point and say “follow that car”- okay maybe there were a few gin and juices left in me. Sensing my urgency or just wanting to get rid of me as soon as possible he opens the throttle and we are off. Weaving in and out of cars, Evel Knievel is acting like he is getting paid by the second. Exactly eight minutes later (when the drive is usually a solid fifteen with no traffic) I jump off, throw out a quick thank you, with passion in my eyes, I boomfa my way past the bouncers to cut a few laps through the establishment. Music is booming, lights are assaulting my eyes and here is little old me shouting at the top of my lungs for my girl that I had lost. No sign of her. I am desperate. Im walking up to people I vaguely remember seeing throughout the night asking them if they knew where my friend was. It was free drinks, they didn’t know their own names let alone where MY friend was. I had covered every inch of lush. No sign. So I walked up and down the surrounding streets, no luck. I checked to see if she had been able to see my messages, hard no here as well. Not knowing what else to do I decided to head back to 185, I was hoping she had remembered the name of the bar and was making her way there. Pulling back up a 185 I had the strangest sense of déjà vu, especially looking up and only counting two friends there... COME ON MAN It was easier to control a toddler covered in Vaseline at this point. Storming across the road, praying for a rouge taxi driver to lick me down for this nightmare to be over... “Where is India???” – Great I’m two for two for lost international friends at this point. Thankfully my girls Jodi and Ellie had put her on a bike home, which was later confirmed in a text that was answered straight away. Sitting over my 50,000K ($1.80) Vodka and lemonade I felt as if I was at a wake. I didn’t know what to do; I had an overbearing sense of guilt. I did what any reasonable person would do and headed over to a friend’s house, I knew they could cheer me up or at least keep my mind off it, well until the police report came in. Sleeping like a baby until my phone went off at 6am with the best message I have ever received “Ha-ha sorry mate, yup all good, home in my bed” If I didn’t have a reputation to uphold I would have cried like the two sore losers from the English rugby team that refused to wear their medals (yeah I’m still bitter). After a few more exchanges everything was fine, no hate, and no blame just a straight up misunderstanding! That’s Vietnam for ya folks. Thankfully this was a happy ending and everyone kept their organs, however we are still on the lookout for one dignity, if anyone sees it, please let me know.

The Next story will be coming very soon and I promise it will be about teaching, as you might have forgotten that’s the actual reason I came here.